| 1. | A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, Im so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Maam, thats your air freshener." |
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| 2. | A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results, put on two coats". |
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| 3. | What do you call a blonde standing between two brunettes? A mental block! |
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| 4. | Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? A: She moved. |
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| 5. | One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Would you mind coming over and helping me out with this killer jigsaw puzzle I bought -- I cant figure out how to get started."Her friend asks, "Whats the puzzle of?""From the picture on the box, Id guess its a tiger," replied the blonde.The friend obliges, and when he arrives the blonde greets him at the front door and then shows him the puzzle spread out all over the table.He studies the pieces for a moment, then studies the box. Then, he turns to her and says, "Im afraid that no matter what I do, Im not going to be able to show you how to assemble these to look like the picture of the tiger on the box.""Why not?" asks the disappointed blonde."Because, you didnt buy a jigsaw puzzle... what you have here is a box of Frosted Flakes." |
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| 6. | How do you make a blonde laugh on a Wednesday? Tell her a joke on a Monday! |
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| 7. | Why did the blonde burn her ear? The phone rang while she was ironing! |
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| 8. | Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her! |
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| 9. | Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. First Blonde: "I cant seem to get this door unlocked!Second Blonde: Well you better hurry up. Its starting to rain and the top is down! |
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| 10. | Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? A: She drowns it. |
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