|
|
Blonde Jokes
View all Blonde Jokes from our large collection.
|
| 1. | A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 Oclock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldnt jump. Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said, "I cant take this, youre my friend."But the blonde insisted saying, "No. A bets a bet."Then the redhead said "Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 Oclock news, so I cant take your money". The blonde replied "Well, so did I, but I didnt think he would jump again!"
| |  - Rate This Blonde Joke
| | 2. | A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employees well being, asks sympathetically, "Whats the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." "Im terribly sorry to hear that. Why dont you go home for the day... we arent terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest." The blonde very calmly explains, "No, Id be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says. A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?" "No," re plies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister, and she said that HER mom died too!"
| |  - Rate This Blonde Joke
| | 3. | A blonde once shot an arrow into the air... but missed!
| |  - Rate This Blonde Joke
| | 4. | A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a Coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out drinks.Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go.The blonde turns around and shouts, "Cant you see Im winning!"
| | - Rate This Blonde Joke
| | 5. | A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked, "Where did you get that?"The pig replied, "I won her in a raffle!"
| | - Rate This Blonde Joke
| | 6. | A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island.One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie.The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."The brunette says, "Ive been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home."POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family.Then, the red head says, "Ive been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too."POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.The blonde starts crying uncontrollably.The genie asks, "My dear, whats the matter?"The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."
| | - Rate This Blonde Joke
| | 7. | A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The mans wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it."A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "Youre finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50."And by the way," the blonde a dded, "its not a Porch, its a Ferrari."
| | - Rate This Blonde Joke
| | 8. | A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, Im so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Maam, thats your air freshener."
| |  - Rate This Blonde Joke
| | 9. | A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results, put on two coats".
| | - Rate This Blonde Joke
| | 10. | A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/shed been driving the wrong way on a one-way street. Cop: Do you know where you were going? Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad cause all the people were leaving.
| | - Rate This Blonde Joke
|
|
|
|
