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Welcome to Blonde Jokes:

Blonde Jokes collection that contains really funny blonde jokes.

5 Random Blonde Jokes:

   A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, Im so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Maam, thats your air freshener."
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   What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run - she is still holding the grenade!
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   A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 Oclock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldnt jump. Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said, "I cant take this, youre my friend."But the blonde insisted saying, "No. A bets a bet."Then the redhead said "Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 Oclock news, so I cant take your money". The blonde replied "Well, so did I, but I didnt think he would jump again!"
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   A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night hes doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, hes going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "Ive heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a persons hair have to do with her worth as a human being? Its guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!"The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! Im talking to that little idiot on your knee!"
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   Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? She didnt want to wake the sleeping tablets!
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10 Highest Rated Blonde Jokes:

1.   A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employees well being, asks sympathetically, "Whats the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." "Im terribly sorry to hear that. Why dont you go home for the day... we arent terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest." The blonde very calmly explains, "No, Id be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. "If you need anything, just let me know," he says. A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her, and asks, "Are you going to be okay? Is there anything I can do to help?" "No," re plies the blonde, "I just got a call from my sister,
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2.   Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said, "I think they could be bird tracks."The second blonde went to look and said, "No, I think these are deer tracks."They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!
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3.   What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run - she is still holding the grenade!
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4.   Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? She didnt want to wake the sleeping tablets!
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5.   Q: How do you make a blondes eyes light up? A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
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6.   A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 Oclock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldnt jump. Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said, "I cant take this, youre my friend."But the blonde insisted saying, "No. A bets a bet."Then the redhead said "Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 Oclock news, so I cant take your money". The blonde replied "Well, so did I, but I didnt think he would jump again!"
4 stars - Rate This Blonde Joke

7.   Q: Why cant blondes put in light bulbs? A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
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8.   A. Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?Q. They think their picture is being taken.
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9.   A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results, put on two coats".
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10.   A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a Coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out drinks.Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping her and asking if someone else could have a go.The blonde turns around and shouts, "Cant you see Im winning!"
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10 Newest Blonde Jokes:

1.   Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek? A: One.
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2.   Q: Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer? A: So she could keep the refrigerator cold.
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3.   Q.What are the worst six years in a blondes life? A: Third Grade.
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4.   A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/shed been driving the wrong way on a one-way street. Cop: Do you know where you were going? Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad cause all the people were leaving.
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5.   Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
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6.   Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley? A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
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7.   Q: How does a blonde kill a worm? A: She burys it.
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8.   Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? A: She threw it off a cliff.
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9.   Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? A: She drowns it.
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10.   Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk? A: The cow fell on her.
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